it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
