There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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