We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
