we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
