Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
