the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
