another moral hangover. fuck.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
