We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
