Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
