We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
