dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
