here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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