Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
