Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
