There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
