How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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