Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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