doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
