no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
