ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
