It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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