Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
