omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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