you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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