hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
