I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
