I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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