Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
