How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
