Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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