I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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