it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
