Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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