Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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