oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
