i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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