is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
