Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
