Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
