My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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