Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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