i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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