theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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