loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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