i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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