dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
