Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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