ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
