My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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