and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
