Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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