for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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