he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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