a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize