I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
