I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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