i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
