thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
