you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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