mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
