I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
