are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
