Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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