i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
