And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
