i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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