ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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